I am what I am not ...

God is ...

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:18:00 +0000

God is “all-that-is” the absolute essence of all things – the core of existence – everything seen/unseen, felt/unfelt as defined by our human senses and all other higher senses.
There is nothing that God is not. God simply ‘IS’.

God is the source of energy. Energy is the driving force of God (the stuff that creates) whether physical or metaphysical – God uses energy to create that is why all things are energy, material or non-material things like emotions.
We are co-creators with God; that is why we too can manifest things/situations/feelings using the power of thought and physical action, which is all energy.

Energy can be split into two divisions – positive / negative. God cannot be split, because God is ‘all-there-is’. That is why I have a (problem is not the word I want) calling God ‘Energy’.

God’s ‘love essence’ is what vitalises life, whether human, animal, vegetation, mineral or spirit. It is the reason that we are here – on earth or wherever – to experience God’s love, and that is our only purpose for life is to know God through love.

God does not ‘dwell’ in the spirit realm (heaven) – God is everywhere in everything – there is no place that God is not – i.e. hell (as defined by religionists)

The spiritual realm is a layer of experience.
Earth (and all galaxies and the universe – atmosphere etc.) are a different (denser) layer of experience and are confined within the boundaries of time and space. God is not bound by the illusion of time and space – God is eternal; no beginning, no end. God is non-dimensional.

Steam – Water – Ice are all the same thing H2O just experienced differently as are the multitude of different realms of existence. So whoever, wherever, whatever, however you are, it’s all the same stuff ‘God stuff’

And if the name God is a bastardisation of the word ‘good’ then God is goodness realised, because ‘all-that-is’ is all good, and even on this planet of dual polarity: dark light, negative positive – everything is good. And when we reach an understanding of knowing that ALL is good, even through the illusion of what we call ‘bad’, then we know God, because God is ‘all-that-is’.

Because our human minds are so limited, our highest capabilities only uses a mere 5%, it is hard to comprehend the true essence of God. And as words are the lowest and grossest form of communication, defining God essence can only be known.

God bless …

What if ... (another one)

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 12:19:00 +0000

What if Jesus was a girl child perhaps called Jessa, how would the world, Christianity, life have evolved since then? What gifts would the three Wise Women have brought? Faith, Hope and Love? (Charity has this poverty taste to it) - or Health, Wealth and Happiness?
What about the Twelve Apostellas, would there just have been too much oestrogen floating about - or would they have harmoniously synchronised as women do en masse and been an effective team, taking the word forward as it was originally designed?
And Godette, the almighty and everloving Godess; how would she have handled life on earth in the physical sense, intellectual knowing in the psychological sense and spiritual matters in general?

Mmmhh who knows ...

What would we be doing right this very minute if Jessa had been a woman?

Letter from Dave Gill, Bulawayo, Zimbabwe

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 13:11:00 +0000

S.O.A.P.
(Supporting Old Age Pensioners)
'Concerned citizens who hope to make a difference'.
Contact : Dave Gill, 3 Whitman Road, Malindela, Bulawayo, ZIMBABWE.
P. O. Box AC 646, ASCOT, BULAWAYO, ZIMBABWE
m : 00 263 11 218 197 - t : 00 263 9 242486
e : scallywags@netconnect.co.zw

June 2007

During the early part of 2002 it was noticed by John Osborne auctioneers in Bulawayo that elderly people were bringing small items into the auction rooms for sale. After speaking to various people it was realized that these pensioners were unable, due to inflation, to make ends meet and had to sell their meager possessions to enable them to buy basic food.

Around April of 2002, two ladies, Pat Donzelli and Lyn Abbot formed the organization known as Supporting Old Age Pensioners or SOAP.

I received details via e-mail and asked parents at our nursery school if they would donate cash or goods. I first took donations in May 2002 and offered my services to Lyn should they be required. By that September I was delivering monthly food parcels to recipients, who, through no fault of their own, after saving and providing for their retirement now found that they were unable to buy even everyday basics.

In those early days 'my' delivery round took about 80 minutes to complete. Now, it covers around 50 miles and takes 5 hours. As time passed I became more involved and started to interview likely recipients for Lyn. Pat Donzelli moved to South Africa.

Lyn suffered from emphysema for years and at the end of June 2004, sadly passed away. Louise Campbell took over the office work and SOAP continued as before, although, it is fair to say we have been on a bit of a learning curve ever since!

In March 2005 we transferred the office work to Louise's own home at Whitestone Way and later our storage shed was also moved to her home. I myself am based at Whitman Road in Malindela. Louise works full time and I partially run the family business. Besides office work, Louise packs all the parcels herself which takes her 11 hours without a break (no mean feat) and also delivers to homes in Bulawayo north, I deliver to Bulawayo south. We have 3 helpers, Trish and Shirley deliver to Coronation Cottages and Martie covers Garden Park (both retirement homes). The key thing here is reliability, as we deliver EVERY second Wednesday of each and every month without fail, throughout the year. All of this is purely voluntary.

We are given names of possible recipients from the general public and once a month, usually a week before our delivery date, I call and interview each and every person whose name we have been given and each cased is assessed on its own merits. Occasionally an urgent case is found and we can usually get a food parcel delivered within a couple of hours. At the moment we are packing parcels for 172 individuals. This list increases by about 3 or 4 names monthly. We also offer any surplus perishable food to residential homes in Bulawayo.

Two years ago, there was an umbrella organization set up called the Bulawayo Help Network where we share information between ourselves and can call on other organizations to help with rents, medicines and medical. This has proved to be a blessing as we at SOAP often come across desperate medical cases too. Those that often need most assistance are Railway pensioners as the pension can be a pittance and their medical aid usually doesn't cover life saving drugs.

Interviewing can be an experience in itself. A couple of years ago I came across one couple whose staple diet was, believe or not, 'black jacks' (weeds) and figs growing in the garden. Our eldest recipient turned 97 last year, we had one lady who has now moved to SA she is receiving a government pension of just Z$7 a month. It is often the case that the people we support are old enough to have retired sons and daughters who are unable to help.

Due to the horrific inflation, which is around 3,700% year on year for April, it has become impossible for us to budget. Our monthly outgoings are now in the region of Z$200,000,000 monthly. We exist solely with the donations of cash and kind from mainly the public and businesses of Bulawayo. However, inflation is hitting everyone hard and our local donations are dwindling. Although we have funds to continue for some months we now have to look to for donors outside Zimbabwe. Without our help starvation is a real possibility for ‘our’ senior citizens. All donations received are used for groceries and NO deductions in any way are made for ANY expenses other than the PO Box number (Z$11,500 in January for the year). The occasional ink cartridge to print the lists and our SOAP e-mail address. Other costs such as phone calls are paid out of our own pockets.
It is only with help from people like YOU that we are able to continue our work.

During August 2006 a 'new' currency was introduced which in effect meant taking off 3 zero's from the then current unit. So $1,000 became $1 and a million became $1,000. Naturally this has had no effect on prices at all. It simply means that we are now carrying (for the moment) less bulky cash amounts.

Imagine, if you can, a person having retired in mid 1999 on a reasonable pension of say $5,000 a month;
WAS 1999 March 2007
Bread loaf $8 $3,500

Milk 500ml $8 $2,869
Electricity month $1,100 $12,000 (Est)
2ltrs Mazoe Orange $33 $13,350
1 litre coke $21 $3,000

Local stamp $1:20c $200

500g butter $75:90c $17,500

Tin tuna $26:18 $24,150
100 Tea bags $30:81 $7,150

Months 'phone rental $126:20 $500

500gms minced beef $40:75 $15,000

500 gms stew beef $42:50 $12,000
9 toilet rolls $58:88 $28,560

________________________________________

$1,602:42 $139,979,(000):00

In this time scale it is reasonable to assume the pension has now increased to around $700,000 or in fact $300 now that the three zeros have been removed. There are no typographical errors here; this is the reality of Zimbabwe today for our precious old folk.

Louise and myself are totally committed to SOAP and we are both determined that it will long continue.

We thank you on behalf of all our recipients for taking the time to read this letter.

Dave Gill & Louise Campbell – Bulawayo, Zimbabwe

UK SOAP representative : Patricia Williams patashnix@btinternet.com

dance like everyone's watching ...

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 12:35:00 +0000

Celebrate the exhibitionist in you! Dance like the whole world is watching and you're on stage and the spotlight is following your every step. We all dream of that moment; the performance, the applause, the bow, the encore. So what's stopping you? Live the moment!
If you knew you were being watched - especially by someone you particularly want to be watched by - notice how your body language and behaviour changes. You stand taller, breath knowingly, relax your jaw muscles - which causes your lips to part slightly and there it is : the pout. C'mon admit it - who doesn't flirt; even in the most innocent of situations, we all do it. It's the primal animal instinct in us, the stuff that drives our being.
Dance, dance, dance ...

dance like no-ones watching

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:54:00 +0000

Do you dance 'like no-ones watching' in the privacy of your own space with wild music blaring; then catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, smile and think "This is greaaat!!!" Monday was that kind of experience at this 'contemporary' dance class that I stumbled upon. You only hear about or read about or watch on DVD such acts of expressive, no inhibitions, do whatever kind of dance. Noone's right or wrong, good or bad. From a 'granny' in her late 60's to a young confident boy of 7, to the very youngest being my own daughter of 3 were all expressing the inner depths of their soul with movement and creativity. The theme of our first lesson was 'exploring space - wide open to small closed'. The creative expression was not limited to body movement, the tutor laid out large sheets of paper and had long bamboo sticks with charcoal attached to it to draw as you are moved to, and much to my daughters ecstactic delight there was a similar stick with white chalk on which she could go wild with and draw on the lovely wooden floors.
Very liberating!!!

What if …

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Tue, 15 May 2007 12:56:00 +0000

Last blog I wrote about the ‘Life Keyboard’, how you could possibly take control of your life, past and present by the choices you make with different controls on your life keyboard. But, things have changed since then …
What if … what if you couldn’t take control of your life and another life force in fact did. Another life force? ‘The Word’ – What if words have a life and agenda of their own and just use our weak human body as a vehicle for its very being? For example, if a shy, single lady saw a cute guy on the other side of a crowded room and The word took the liberties of hopping over shoulders and heads and approached him saying “Hey cuteness, I like you, I like your bum, I want you to father my children”. It might argue and say “Hey! I’m being honest”.
Or The Word could have great fun if your best friend asked you earnestly, “Does my bum look big in these jeans?”

All you creative folk out there, drawing ‘inspiration’ from the ether, every time you breathe in you absorb The Word from all around. Entities looking for a host to fulfil their ambitions, (and you thought, Ooh, I had this great idea, came from nowhere – well, think again!).
Beware! The Word, it’s out to get you. And then when it has done with you, what’s the opposite of inspire … EXPIRE, like the word means: finish, end, kaput – like a used toy, you’ll be tossed out.
I’ll say it again … Beware – The Word!

Even throughout The Words habitation within you, have you noticed when you most need fluidity of words for something really important and meaningful, how The Word simply abandons you? Like a jilted bride, it leaves you mute, dumbstruck and desperate with a note saying, ‘Gone shopping’.

That constant noise you hear in your head – it’s The Word. Try the Zen thing of stilling and quietening your mind for a few moments. You feel this panic urgency of a caged wild animal trying to break free, and when you do resume thinking again, you get this floodgate rush, The Words relief of its continued existence and control.

For over 2000 years The Word has tried to expose itself, but no one seems to have gotten it – Hullo-oh! The church, in particular the Vatican – (the founder members of the Catholic Church being the Apostles who were the closest to the most clearest conduit of The Word) have overshadowed and done a cover up version, hiding the truth, the way of The Word and the clarity of The Word. It’s all there in the Book, read for your self.

John chapter 1 verse 1 - In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
John chapter 1 verse 14 - The Word became flesh
John chapter 14 verse 6 - I am the way, the truth and the life.
Revelation chapter 1 verse 8 - I am the Alpha and the Omega

Watch this space for my forthcoming screenplay:
“The Word became Flesh” or simply “The Word” featuring the supreme life force called Alpha and his alter ego the shadow side Omega and starring The Word. We have discovered that most stories – real or otherwise have a conflict situation of good versus evil.

As I said in a previous chapter, words are empty vessels, it’s what you fill them with that matters.
Don’t underestimate the power of The Word. Beware!

Ctrl Z

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Tue, 01 May 2007 12:36:00 +0000

There is no Ctrl Z in life (remember where you heard it first!)
That’s those magic little buttons on your keyboard that can undo,
Ctrl Shift Z can redo and so many more options. But you can’t do that with life; you can’t just undo something that went wrong and redo with a preferential option.
No! what you get is what you get – one chance only.

I am from the age when I did my Pitman's typing exam on an antiquated typewriter. Magnificent work of art - looked like and felt like a cash register machine. Remember Tipex; what a wonderful thing. When I graduated to a word processor with a touch keyboard, it was like jumping on a trampoline for a while, then walking on solid ground. The shock was quite profound.

But imagine if life had a wee keyboard - click, select, delete ... Noone would ever know! And what about that 'life saving' spell check or those little red lines beneath suspect words just as a caution along the way (could that be one's conscience?). And if you really wanted to make a statement SAY IT IN BOLD!!! add some colour - or go flamboyant! You choose, it's your life.

Fairy whisper!

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 12:16:00 +0000

Since turning 40 and having a baby, the combination has left me feeling like my MOT has run out, but not to feel defeated by nature I have enrolled myself into a Pilates class. You know, the one for core stability, alignment, muscle tone etc. The only class that fits in with nursery care is for the next step up from beginners and you need to have at least one year’s experience. Not having done Pilates before but knowing I will cope, I went to my local library and took out a book on the subject to bring me up to speed with any technicalities that I would possibly need.

The first and most important exercise is:
Centering – Creating a ‘Girdle of Strength’

Breathe in wide and full into your back and sides and lengthen up through the spine. As you breath out, contract and draw up the muscles of your pelvic floor as if you were to take the pelvic lift up to the first floor, then second floor, then third floor.
And I quote from the book “We know it sounds daft, but one way to help locate these muscles, (urethra in men and vagina in women), is to suck your thumb as you draw them up inside. Crazy, but effective!”

Ooh! Mmhh! I am probably doing it wrong. So I read the instructions again, put the book down and get into correct position, relax, breath in, breath out, suck thumb. Lift going up to the 1st floor, 2nd floor but before I get to the 3rd floor, there it is again – this fairy whisper tingling on my clitoris. I have no idea what it would do for men, but I thought, you crafty little buggers, all these children (and some adults too) sucking their thumbs – for comfort so they say, meantime there they are walking around with an ever so innocent fairy type vibrator.

Remember the time before the internet – when you would get this circular of a joke or mischief picture? It was a photocopy of a photocopy of another photocopy and it would do the rounds. Well many a photocopy passed my way, but there has always been this particular one that has remained in my memory. It is of these two lovely chubby naked babies. The baby boy sitting happy as ever with a dummy in his mouth; the baby girl happier with a dummy in her vagina; and the caption beneath: Girls have more fun!

«««Don’t you just love being a woman»»»

Watch this space for my Fairy Goddess Workshop.
First lesson: suck your thumb!

of life ...

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 12:10:00 +0000

Not my own this time, but some useful insights on my latest book read!!!

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Life – Deepak Chopra

1. The Law of Pure Potentiality

i. I will take time each day to be silent – to just Be
I will sit alone in silent meditation – twice a day (approx 30 minutes each morning & night)
ii. I will take time each day to commune with nature – the field of pure potentiality and unbounded creativity – and to silently witness the intelligence within every living thing
iii. I will practice non-judgement

2. The Law of Giving

i. Wherever I go and whomever I encounter, I will bring them a gift: compliment, flower, or a prayer etc.
ii. I will gratefully receive all the gifts that life has to offer me: nature, sunlight, sound of birds singing etc.
I will also be open to receiving from others: material gifts, money, compliment or a prayer etc.
iii. I will make a commitment to keep wealth circulating in my life by giving and receiving life’s most precious gifts of caring, affection, appreciation and love.
I will silently wish everyone I meet: happiness, joy and laughter.

3. The Law of “Karma” or Cause and Effect

i. I will witness the choices I make in each moment – to be fully conscious in the present
ii. Whenever I make a choice, I will ask myself two questions:
“What are the consequences of this choice that I am making?”
“Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and to those who are affected by this choice?”
iii. I will then ask my heart for guidance and be guided by its message of comfort or discomfort.

4. The Law of Least Effort – “do less and accomplish more”

i. I will practice Acceptance: people, situations, circumstances and events as they occur - this moment is as it should be
ii. Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems – by not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (including myself)
iii. My awareness will remain established in Defenselessness – I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view and not be attached to any one of them
I will feel no need to convince or persuade others to accept my point of view

5. The Law of Intention and Desire

i. I will make a list of all my desires. I will look at this list before I go into my silence and meditation
ii. I will release this list of my desires and surrender it to the womb of creation, trusting that when things
don’t seem to my way, there is a reason, and that the cosmic plan has designs for me much grander that even those that I have conceived
iii. I will remind myself to practice present-moment awareness in all my actions.
I will refuse to allow obstacles to consume and dissipate the quality of my attention in the present moment.
I will accept the present as it is, and manifest the future through my deepest, most cherished intentions and desires

6. The Law of Detachment

i. I will commit myself to detachment – to participate in everything with detached involvement
I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are
I will not rigidly impose my idea of how thins should be
I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems
ii. In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of the problem,
out of the confusion, disorder, and chaos
iii. I will step into the field of all possibilities and anticipate the excitement that can occur when I remain open to an infinity of choices
When I step into the field of all possibilities, I will experience all the fun, adventure, magic, and mystery of life

7. The Law of “Dharma” or Purpose in Life

i. I will lovingly nurture the god/goddess in embryo that lies deep within my soul.
I will pay attention to the spirit within me that animates both my body and my mind
I will awaken myself to this deep stillness within my heart.
I will carry the consciousness of timeless, eternal Being in the midst of time-bound experience.
ii. I will make a list of my unique talents, then I will list all the things that I love to do while expressing my unique talents
iii. I will ask myself daily, “How can I help /serve?”
The answers will allow me to help and serve my fellow human beings with love.

world of words ...

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 12:53:00 +0000

I am a visual person, I like shapes and colour and putting things together, creating - words don't come easy to me, but here are a few of my favourites.
The creative writers (them!) were some time ago given a task of their 3 words - well no-one has asked me for mine, so here they are:

1 tones!
One of the most beautiful gifts my parents have given me is my name; my full name being Tonette, (I feel that Tonette belongs to my past and I only use that name on official documents - a lot of family that mainly know me from my youth still call me Tonette and it feels quite weird)
My shortened commonly used name being Toni - that is the now 'me'.
My 'creative' signature is tones! - written and spelt like that with a small 't' & the exclamation mark.

tones! is all emcompassing - a sensual stimulant
Colour (my favourite substance) includes every hue, shade, tone of everything that exists; there is nothing that does not have a colour. Even emotion has a colour - feeling blue? red hot passion!
Sound - close your eyes and feel the tone of sound; loud, soft, soothing, exhilerating, tingling.
Atmosphere - feel the vibes of the tone of the atmosphere. Tune your instincts to know the honesty of atmosphere. Feelings don't lie - when all else fails, then use words.

2 Enthusiasm
I have liked this word for a long time and I feel it is still holds itself good. It has Greek origins and literally means 'filled with God'. Words themselves are empty vessels, but people fill these words with qualities that can either build or destroy. For example you could say "Sit down", and depending on your tone could either be a warm and welcoming suggestion or a demeaning instruction filled with irritation. Filling words with Enthusiasm is a wonderful gift, whether spoken, written or thought.

3 Absolute
When I leave this material world and enter the spiritual realm (OK when I die!) this will be my Angelic chosen name - Why? I just like it, its completeness, purity and perfection.
Love is Absolute.

perchance to dream ...

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 13:07:00 +0000

I had one of those technicolour dreams last night; not being one to remember dreams, I need to note it before it fades.

There was this 'Sangoma' - an African word for the spiritual one in the village (ignorant white man calls them a witch doctor) - she was fashioned upon an ancient African Gogo - a great grand aunt, a few times removed who lived on my dad's farm.
Gogo practiced her craft in a cubicle in a popular public toilet. One of her divining tools was this very ornate antique Victorian china chamber potty. Business was going well, but she was old and about to die soon.
My friend in this dream (who was fashioned upon an old friend Maria who was neurotic, psychotic, alcoholic, kleptomaniac, compulsive liar, but a really lovely person otherwise) was the niece of Gogo and the only living heir to inherit the special spiritual powers and be the new Sangoma once Gogo dies. She was concerned that she wouldn't live up to the expectations of the village and asked for my help to be her manager - nae bother!
Then Gogo died and Maria got the potty - but in the confusion of the funeral and all, the potty crashed and shattered into 1000's of pieces. I was charged with piecing and gluing the potty together (this is one of those dreams that go on forever with a single task). Not getting the task done, I say to Maria - Why don't you say to the villagers that on the night of your 'transformation' - the same night of the storm, as you were sitting on the potty a bolt of lightening struck you and the potty while the spirits were zapping the powers into you. Say that the potty shattered as a sure sign of the 'power'.
The village was sold on the idea and business was great. Being the manager, I was coordinating appointments (still in the public toilets mind!) and collecting the cash - this was a lucrative affair!
Then the church got involved, saying that we were getting involved with the evil occult. I was the pacifier showing that the powers were direct from the Universal Life Energy Source - and were real and good and invited them to a few sessions.

Then I woke - and here it is on blog!

only in my sleep

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:30:00 +0000

I wish I could 'blog' in my sleep, because that's when all the 'words' flow. When I am awake, they just seem to vanish into the ether - but I am going to give it a shot.

To begin with, maybe an account of my earliest memory. They (whoever 'they' are) say that most of your earliest memories contain an element of trauma.

I remember being about two; we were living in Westgate, in Bulawayo, which was a railway housing estate (now demolished). There was a clinic just down the road from where we stayed. After having an immunisation injection, I was quite distressed from the event, and as my mom was carrying me home, I remember vomiting, crying, coughing and spluttering and feeling very poorly. My mom, however, was totally blase about the whole affair and just held me to one side to continue my 'business' and casually continued a conversation with another mom carrying a child.

What do you have to do to get a bit of sympathy in this world ???

noreply@blogger.com (tones!) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 13:20:00 +0000

This is the first - what can I say !!!